November 2006 Archives

I wish this were an atricle from the Onion, but it's not:

"The MPAA defines a home theater as any home with a television larger than 29" with stereo sound and at least two comfortable chairs, couch, or futon. Anyone with a home theater would need to pay a $50 registration fee with the MPAA or face fines up to $500,000 per movie shown."

The MPAA went on, stating, "Just because you buy a DVD to watch at home doesn't give you the right to invite friends over to watch it too. That's a violation of copyright and denies us the revenue that would be generated from DVD sales to your friends. Ideally we expect each viewer to have their own copy of the DVD, but we realize that isn't always feasible. The registration fee is a fair compromise."

Sorry, I'm going to have to charge you to come to our house and watch a movie with us. But the good news is, we'll throw the popcorn in for free and let you drink beer in our house.

Update: Dan pointed out in the comments that the story is from a satire site much like, but not, The Onion. I guess I got duped. Oh well. It's pretty funny, I guess.

Charter's your friend. They are. Really. Two examples on how they're the bestest ever:

1) We've been waiting for an HD-capable PVR ever since we upgraded our service to include HD channels for our sweet new TV. Unfortunately, they were out of HD-capable boxes and it would be a six week wait. Six weeks later, it turned into an additional month to six month wait. "There's none in the county," we were told. Finally, a month later, today we get a letter saying the PVRs are in and we should call within seven days to make sure we're still interested. So we call the number, no one is there. After Kris hits every button to talk to someone, Tony picks up. She inquires about the letter and how we get our PVR. Without even checking his database, he immediately responds that there are none in Wisconsin. (Here's the best part.) He goes on to say how awesome his two PVRs are. "HE COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM." Um, Tony, HOW ABOUT GIVING US ONE OF YOURS, GENIUS!" Thanks for your help, jackass.

2) A co-worker of Kris' performed an experiment with the Charter customer service. To inquire about a billing error, a roommate dialed the service number, and followed the prompts for billing inquires. Soon after, the co-worker called the same service number, but followed the prompts for new service. While the roommate was still waiting for some one to take her call, the co-worker was immediately helped by a live person. She simply handed the phone to her roommate and she got her dispute resolved quickly.